Once inside the Ordo Classifarium, I instantly became lost. Long, winding tunnels, dripping walls of sulphuric water, floors oozing out putried bile. Every step I took made a choir of the damned wail in agonizing terror. I knew just as well as I was going as I did the inner workings of a nuclear powered rocket.

Complete cluelessness

Having traveled what I figured were endless circles, I finally ran into something that looking it could aid me. 

Crawling along the ground in front of me, I spotted a six legged, two headed creature. Small in size, but interesting in its nature. I studied it closely. The base of the neck rotted away, revealing a twisted mass of fabricated metal and natural bones. Extending down towards the torso of the creature, this combination of mechanical enginering and organic mystery ensnared my attention. 

Distracting me so much, I couldn’t hear the increased noise of the walls hissing. From the crawling shadows formed the outline of a man. Then out of the ominus oblivieon out stepped a…

I don’t know what It was. 

Made from the intertwining crawling abyss that made up the flowing energy of the building, the substance formed what looked to be a man but was not. The eyes glowed a dark blue, but they were nothing more then sockets in the already gapped mock of a man. 

It mirrored me in almost every aspect. The same height, looked to be the same build size. Even the hair mimicked my own. 

“How can I be of assistance to you, mortal? You seem lost”

Well, it sure wasn’t an idiot. 

“Yeah, you could say that I’m lost. Maybe I’m not really lost, but just trying to find my own way.”

“You are lost.”

“You’re right. Ok, basically you are the first person I’ve seen in the past three hours and I  just need to fix a little problem. Do you think that you could help me out?”

And with that question, the same slithering, shadowy force that had created the man before, separated off the wall the right of me and revealed  a large office. Sitting at oddly arranged desk was an entire army of slaving away husks. Their withered bodies bearly clinging to life. 

From their necks protruded a 5 small metal rods, forming a crpytic halo around their head. Attached to the end of each rod was a thin metal wire that hooked into the four corners of the mouth, pulling back and revealing aged and rotted teeth. The 5th and top string was hooked in between the eyes, pulling back the skin and keeping a stern look plastered upon the zombiefied horrors.

The same shadowy force that was twisting and warping and contorting squirmed and ensnared me within its cold, gooey grasp. Tentacle like appendages slithered around my arms and legs, then with easy, it carried me through the air and slammed my body into a chair two sizes too small for me. 

The floor in front of me slid apart, opening a small box. From the square in the ground extended out a tall pillar. After its full size came out, I realized it was a computer console. A robotic voice peeped out at me, “Please state your reason for coming to the Ordo. Wait for the beep…*Beep*”

“Hi, I was looking to see if I could possibly transfer my dem-“

*Beep*

The computer shut off and began to slowly slide back into the ground. I looked around in a state of concern.

“Hey! this this just like shut off. I didn’t even tell it what I was here for!”

Surrounded by things, but my cries were of no avail. Not one thing stopped to see what the issue was. Deciding to take things into my own hands, I wiggled me way out of the slithering foces grip and started to walk around again. 

There was a simple, wooden door at the end of the room. The center was fitted with the fogged glass, and in neat letters were written MAIN OFFICES. I figured that was as good a place to look for some real help then any other.

I began to think more to myself as I made my way through the office. Why did hell have such a modernistic, corporate feel to it? At its inner heart, it’s run by demonic machine hybrids. Had Lucifer lost sight of his goals? Did natural and holistic ways give into effectiveness and processes? 

Either way, I needed to get the hell away from Frank.